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SO IM GONE

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  • SO IM GONE

    i was raised a bad ass 4 once poppa smacked my azz
    only after i spilt his beer in tha tall glass
    hopin to god one day these beatings go away i tell my momma dont cry
    i fell to my knees and all i can do was pray
    wipin the tears from my face
    i gots no food in my plate
    another welfare abused family on christmas
    under the tree milk eggs and peanut butter
    from the government i bet they think its so innocent thats all they get
    abandoned and abused i ran away couldnt take the pain
    walkin in the rain i learned to slang in the devils game of catch me if u can
    clenchin guns and hiding from the sun
    wit my only reason to survive is to last and be better than the last life
    just found out my momma died and my bastard father was the one droppin the gun
    so i got my own, clearnin thoughts all i could hear
    were six shots out tha glock and the door bustin down
    leavin the rest 2 the fucking cops
    never take me alive i ran away from home
    and now my momma died
    shot in the back and cornered
    on the damp ground cuffed up and nervous hiding the pain
    mad as hell u should of shot me again
    in a jail cell sentenced 4 life
    clenchin my face wit the same tears i cried last year
    reminisin the night i told my momma dont cry
    realizin all i did was lie and all i wanna do now is take my life
    will i fly or burn?
    anywhere is better than here
    nex day in the yard some one pulled my card
    and all i heard was the alarm to fall down
    im about to be gone now blinded in this life of tears fears
    and noone cares i dont hold on so im gone.
    Say no to Trump.

  • #2
    "abandoned and abused i ran away couldnt take the pain
    walkin in the rain i learned to slang in the devils game of catch me if u can"

    my favorite part, nice rap

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    • #3
      I like the story in this, but I don't like the rhymes, they seem too simple? If thats a way to put it

      Also, for future reference, try to expand your vocabulary, add more power to your lyrics.

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      • #4
        Not bad...some lines are very long, while others are short. Perhaps trying to keep your bars down to roughly the same length would help. I can picture you having to rap very fast to squeeze all your words in on one bar, then going really slow at other parts when the lines are short. Seems like that'd make for a choppy song.

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        • #5
          ^^^ I agree with what Soopafly.
          I would try to even out some of the lins! But all in all very cool!

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          • #6
            sometimes when i ryhme i tend to make a poem all of a sudden or it turns out to be a story.
            i got too much on my mind ill know next time thanx for reading and the rundown
            Say no to Trump.

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            • #7
              you've got some talent there for sure, keep it up!

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